No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
