and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
