Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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