we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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