I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize