i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
