I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
