I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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