I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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