You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
