All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
