he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Randomize
