i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Randomize
