Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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