So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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