Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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