her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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