I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
