like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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