Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
