wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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