You can't motorboat a personality
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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