Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize