were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
