I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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