I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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