its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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