I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
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Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
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Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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