We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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