Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
