I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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