Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
