Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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