I want to have your abortion
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
