Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Still dying that you shit outside
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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