Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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