Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
hotel room ftw
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
