Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
