She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
this hospital has no fireball
He shit in the fireplace
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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