The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
