Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
This is classic penis vs brain.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
