You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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