Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
