Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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