dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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