We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
