I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
