Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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