38 yer olds are good kisserssss
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
