we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
