So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
