I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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