did you get engaged???
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
There r osticjed everywhere
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
