I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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