Don't EVER smell your tampon
I take back everything I said about communal showers
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
