I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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