I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
