mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the right to judge tonight
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize