so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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