yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
