Michael Bay diarrhea
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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